Coming outInspirationLifestyle

Starter Pack for Lesbians – For Hard Beginnings

How wonderful it would be if, after the great realization, you automatically had access to a starter pack that would help you through your way! Inspired by a reader of ours, we have put together a Lesbians’ Starter Pack. What would you put in it?

Every coming out is a rebirth, a second birthday. But this time we need to give birth to ourselves, without an epidural. It ain’t easy, it often hurts, but no doubt that it’s worth it.

In this rookie phase, it would be freakishly useful if you could just get a bunch of name cards from more experienced, out lesbians* who understand your situation perfectly but could give you some words of support. Sadly, there are no such name cards at hand most of the times. Nevertheless, there are many organizations that can be there for you – we have collected them here. At the same time, you can turn to youtube videos of people coming out, which are awesome sources of inspiration not just for the personal stories they tell but also for the reactions they portray.

In Finland mums who just gave birth can take home a big paper box, along with their newborns, once leaving the hospital. It is sort of a “starter pack for parents”, containing baby clothes, pacifiers, diapers, and tiny accessories for bath showers. Once we have overcome the obstacle of our first coming out(s), in hope of a better, more complete and more honest, new life, the least we deserve for our second first-birthday is a lesbian* starter pack, which can guide us through the initial phase of our journey of discovery.

The first items of this box are definitely books telling about lesbian* stories, because they can inspire and guide us in our new life. Among the – fortunately – many books, these are some examples: Fannie Flagg’s Fried Green Tomatoes (the film adaptation is awesome too), Sofi Oksanen’s Baby Jane, Jodi Picoult’s Sing You Home, or Sylvia Brownrigg’s Pages For You.

Next to inspirational books, you’d find tickets to Fassbinder plays, LGBTQ+ themed movies, and to lesbian film festivals (like LIFT Festival in Hungary). Similarly, there you’ll see wristbands to enter gay or gay-friendly parties, along with an event calendar, and when it’s Pride Week, a complete list of programs.

Additionally, you’d be directed to youtube channels featuring our fave vloggers and Buzzfeed’s LGBT episodes , which cover gay and lesbian topics in a unique way. Continuing on the online domain, it is worth following not only qLit but also Humenonline, which reports about LGBTQ+ related issues in Hungary. We needn’t forget about, Diva Magazine, HuffingtonPost Queervoice , and Pinknews.

We have saved the best for last. But what is that? A plane ticket to Tel Aviv, LA, Amsterdam or any part of the world where LGBTQ+ people have the same rights as the rest of the society, which accepts them just as anyone. It is important for you to see with your own eyes that it can be a reality what we dream and fight for.

The very last thing that you’d find in the box would be a letter from your future self who have already found her place in the world and knows and assures you that everything will be alright. Because you are “normal”, you are worth just as much as everyone, and you are not alone. We are many and we are together.


For us at qLit it is emphatically important to promote self-acceptance. We are here to give you support or answer your questions. Drop us a line with any thoughts or concerns:

Translated by Anna Szlávi

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