So are you, like, choking each other? You have bruises on your body? Do you beat each other up during sex? - these are the questions I get the most when it comes to BDSM. No problem, feel free to ask, it's the best way to find out how it works! I'm writing this article as a newbie BDSM "enthusiast", mainly for those who are intrigued by the subject but haven't dared to try it yet.
Let's start with an overview, and then I'll show you three products that are easy to use, don't require a big investment, and you can even combine them.
We’re launching a new series, sponsored by vágyaim.hu in which we discover the world of sex toys and accessories and discuss everything and anything from lube 101 to strap-ons, anal toys and nipple clamps. What, when, which one, how, how many times, why, why not? All questions you asked in embarrassment or did not ask at all, or if you did, you couldn’t find an answer. We are going to answer it all, including the questions you didn’t even know you wanted to ask!
BDSM is an umbrella term, encompassing bondage-discipline, dominance-submission, sadism-masochism and all their forms - it can also be combined with fetishes and role-play. It’s important to note that, like all other sexual activities, BDSM is based on mutual consent. In its absence, it’s sexual assault and torture, which is punishable by law. Before you get into anything, you should discuss carefully how far each of you is willing to go and what you don't want at all. Some people may find spanking and bondage arousing, but at the same time they can't bear to be blindfolded and not see what’s going on around them. The aim is for you both to have fun and enjoy what you’re doing!
Spanking and caressing all in one - the perfect accessory for foreplay
Start with a little bit of caressing foreplay and then spice things up with 1-2 stingy slaps. With this simple but awesome little tool, you can go from pampering to disciplining in a flash. Available in black and pink with a feathery end, the rod is made of sturdy plastic. The faux leather on the discipline end works well for light, stingy spanking. A must-have for some naughty girl role-play!
Fifty Shades Freed - nipple and labia clamps - if you want something spicy
I honestly admit I haven't heard of nipple clamps until the other day when, as we were browsing Pepco for some new and totally useful knick-knacks, my girlfriend suddenly threw a pack of perfectly ordinary wooden clothespins in the basket. As we were living in an apartment without a balcony and our clothes were drying on an indoor rack I was puzzled, but my love, with sparkling eyes and a suggestive smile, told me that I'll see what they are for at home. I did indeed see it when, during foreplay, the clothespins came out and turned into nipple clamps. It's not the sexiest accessory, but it's fine for a first try, and if you like the feeling you can browse sex shops where you’ll find a lot of different types of fancy clamps.
The extra feature of the Fifty Shades Freed is that the two nipple clamps are attached by a chain to the one you can put on the labia. The nipple clamps are adjustable, so they can be adapted to all sizes and shapes of tits. At first you’ll need some time to find the point where it feels nice and tight but not painful. Attaching the third clamp also takes a bit of fiddling, we used a little water-based lube to slide it on from the direction of the clitoris, following the instructions attached. The kit includes a carrier bag which is a nice bonus because it makes storage easier and you don't have to worry about the chain tangling up.
Bad Kitty - Velcro faux leather bondage set - the most comfortable way to get tied up
As crazy as I was about handcuffing, it was as big a let-down when I finally tried it. In only a few minutes the metal cuffs dug into my wrist so hard that what originally promised to be some fun sexytimes had to be cut short real quick. Scarfs and bandanas are good solutions if you're looking for something softer as an alternative tie, or if you're interested in something more professional, you can get one of the Bad Kitty sets. I've brought you the one for the bed. Since we can’t attach anything to the headboard of our bed, we always had the problem of how to achieve the kind of bondage that allows the least amount of movement. Straps that can be tucked under the mattress are the perfect solution! We attached two straps at the bottom of the mattress, the other two at the top, then adjusted the length so it’s just right. The faux leather handcuffs have a plush coating on the inside that feels nice on the wrist, and the Velcro strap allows you to adjust the size. Once the arm and ankle straps are fitted, they can be snapped into the carabiners of the straps that run under and over the mattress. It's best to get into a roughly X-like shape so that the binding remains relatively stable. Once you’re in the right position the dominatrix can get to work right away, either with the caressing-spanking rod or the nipple-labia clamps.
Translated by Zsófia Ziaja
