Is the Grass Always Greener on the Other Side? – 4 Year Anniversary

It was exactly four years ago that qLit started this interview series, with two Brazilian girls then living in Curitiba. Since then a lot has happened: the interview has grown into a monthly interview series which has given voice to almost 50 inspiring lesbians from all around the world. But a lot has changed for Aryadne and Mari as well. Just to list some keywords: 3 countries, 2 continents, and 1 wedding, moreover on Whatsapp.

We wanted to commemorate this anniversary and pay tribute to their journey.

Hello, Mari! Hi, Aryadne! Just to recap, do you remember where you were and what you were up to 4 years ago? Can you just briefly remind us?

Wow! 4 years! Time flies, no? Well, back in 2017, we were living in Curitiba, Brazil. We were girlfriends and we used to live in a nice apartment with our 3 cats. Aryadne was working as a Journalist and Mari was a recently graduated employee at a snacking company. We were hanging out a lot with our friends and we were planning our next holidays somewhere in Europe.

What’s happened since then?

A LOOOOT has changed! We got more experienced (!) we would say, Mari received an offer to move to Poland (this was February 2018) - so Aryadne & the 3 cats also moved. It was a bit challenging in the beginning, mainly due to the fact we couldn’t share Mari’s working visa. Poland has more or less the same situation as Hungary, so we needed to arrange a student visa for Aryadne. A few months after arriving in Poland, Aryadne got a job there. In 2020, however, due to the pandemic she needed to go back to Brazil as the company made some cuts. Given that situation, Mari started to look for new opportunities in order to have the family reunited. Aryadne also started working on the next steps, starting a completely different career. Right now, she’s pursuing becoming a pastry chef.  Oh, and we also got married in February this year!

The famous WhatsApp wedding picture

Wow, this is indeed quite a story! Congratulations! Where are you headed now?

Well, after Aryadne left Poland back to Brazil, Mari got a position in the US and moved to New Jersey in April 2021. Then, in order to have all the documentation sorted out, we needed to get legally married - we previously had a common law marriage. The funny thing is that Mari was in Poland, Aryadne in Brazil and we could manage the papers using the power of attorneys and taking advantage of the kindness of Mari’s dad. We got married via WhatsApp video and Mari’s dad was the one signing the marriage certificate on her behalf - so our wedding picture is the best! Due to the pandemic, Aryadne couldn’t come to the US yet. Imagine, September 27th it will be 1 year apart already! We’re still looking forward to the appointment Aryadne has at the Embassy in October, but we need to wait to see how it goes.

We feel that the US will be a good “home” for us. Compared to Brazil or Poland, the LGBTQ rights are (much more) respected here: you can walk in the streets and see many couples holding hands and feeling comfortable about being together in public. Of course, no country is 100% safe for us, but we feel very excited about the possibility of finally enjoying life as a couple. Besides that,  in terms of career opportunities, the US has a lot to offer to both Aryadne and Mari and we’re closer to Brazil - not only physically, but in terms of time differences as well.

We are rooting for you! One year is a lot of being apart. If each of you could pick one memorable moment of the past 4 years, what would it be?

Aryadne: When we moved to Poland. Even though it wasn't the best country for us, it really was the beginning of a life’s dream. And to share this with someone you love is amazing. For me it was the start of an adventurous life, full of travelling. After this, I feel we can do anything as long as we are together. 

Mari: For me it was our wedding. I never thought that getting married was something that would make me so happy. By having that Marriage Certificate in my hands, I could see many doors opening for us and the feeling was amazing! After all of these months apart, in 2-3 countries, it’s good to look back and see our younger selves with only plans and now all the achievements and things we have built together.  

Indeed! You have had quite an adventurous time! Let’s talk in 4 years and see where you ended up.

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