I want to be a mother! But how?

When as LGBTQ+ people we first start thinking about having children we have to face all the excitements and uncertainty of the unbeaten path. There are also legal difficulties ahead of us  that we have to figure out somehow. Luckily, more and more people in Hungary decide to try nonetheless, and thus pave the path step by step for the future. Háttér Society (Háttér Társaság) conducted a survey in the topic to assess the situation and promote visibility and advocacy. Here is a short extract of the research.


Within Pride Week, Háttér Society presented its survey on rainbow families. Bem cinema was fully packed at the event on Monday, but the place was quite dim and it would’ve been nice to have sound amplification and a visual presentation as well. Someone from the audience mentioned that they would’ve been happy to meet actual rainbow families, and the presenters asked if we would be interested in a monthly meetup. (Yes, we would.)

Summa summarum, the survey is interesting, and now comes the extract:

LGBTQ+ people were asked whether they have or are planning to have children and if so, how. 1249 people were questioned, which is not very few, but it is worth knowing that the research is not representative, because most of the respondents are intellectuals and from Budapest. Háttér Society explained that regarding the topic this social strata is the most likely to be affected, which is indeed possible, but it is also worth considering that this group of people is the easiest to reach for LGBTQ+ organizations to answer their questions.

There is some exciting data here as well:

Compared to the 2010 survey, the proportion of parents who are not raising a child from the previous heterosexual relationship but decided to have children together with their same-sex partner has duplicated, it has increased from 18% to 36%.

62% of the respondents plan to become parents in the future and live in a rainbow family.

Detail from the movie The Kids Are All Right (


And what are the ways to make a rainbow family?

Let's see:

  • By having a child from a previous relationship;
  • Through artificial insemination;
  • Through surrogacy;
  • By adoption;
  • By raising step-children.

In the publication of Háttér Society, the legal status and possibilities of each case are thoroughly explained – unfortunately it is only available in Hungarian yet.


According to the respondents, what changes would be needed to improve the status of same-sex couples who are having or planning to have children in Hungary?

  • The possibility to adopt the partner’s children;
  • The possibility to adopt together with the same-sex partner;
  • No discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation when assessing the suitability for adoption;
  • The possibility of artificial insemination for same-sex couples;
  • Reconsidering the possibilities of surrogacy, and legalizing it under proper, strict regulations.

It was also measured how much respondents support each possibility that would facilitate for same sex couples to have children. Here are the results:

Overall, the research is alright, we're happy to see that it exists and that we can see these data as a whole. Still, however we get some insight into the personal stories and answers of the interviewees in the publication, somehow the point was missing on Monday’s presentation: although it mentioned some concrete cases, it didn’t show us any examples to follow. That is why we are very much looking forward to whether the crowd put a bug in the organizers' ears, so we would have a chance to meet up with rainbow families who would like to share their stories with us. If such a thing happens, we will definitely be there and tell about it.


Translated by Ibolya Nagy

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