Coming outInspiration

10 years later – Outober on qLit

A story about a love that isn’t defined by gender, time or distance.


I had been together with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years at the age of 19. I loved him, but I always felt like something was missing. Something that I couldn’t really define. By total coincidence - in connection with a sport event’s live chat - I started to exchange e-mails with a girl from abroad. I didn’t know who she was, why exactly we started writing to each other and I really had no clue about her sexual orientation. We had been communicating for almost half a year when I became certain that we have to meet, I have to to know her better. I slowly started to realize why: I was attracted to her. It took me 3 months till I was brave enough to look into my boyfriend’s eyes and tell him that I have to go and meet this girl, with whom I’ve been sending letters back and forth for 9 months. He didn’t understand it and was against it, now that I think about it he had every right to. At that time I didn’t think or really cared about it. I had to go. We met abroad, a new place for her, a new place for me. We spent 5 wonderful days together, I was in love, head over heels and I finally understood everything. Everything that I had been missing from my life till this moment.

I got back home and cried. A lot. I told everything to my mum first. I told her that I was in love with this girl and what happened between us. She didn’t disown me, wasn’t mad. Maybe, just simply disappointed and she couldn’t really understand what was going on. “How am I going to have grandchildren?“ - was her first question. The next year was a little bit difficult, she started to keep distance between us, but I was certain she still loved me the same way she always did. My friends and brother accepted me without any questions.

Days went by, I was working, studying and because of the distance, things didn’t really work out the way I wanted with this girl. However, we never cut each other off, we just couldn’t. After her I had longer and shorter relationships, she had one longer one, but I couldn’t forget her just the way she couldn’t forget me.

I was sure that we were going to meet later in life, that we could never really be apart. After 10 years, we finally got to be together.

Since then 4 years passed, I moved abroad to be with her. We are happy! We’re getting married soon and we’d like to start a family. My mum loves my girlfriend, my brother, my friends and my grandmother too. Could I be any luckier? I don’t think so. To the people who don’t know her, I don’t explain anymore. I just simply introduce my girlfriend.


Translated by Brigitta Balla

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